Raising Children

I grew up in a strict household. My parents told us what the rules and that was that. There was no room for debate or discussion. We were all given chores that were expected to be done everyday and we never got an allowance. And my older brother and I were held a a higher standard than my younger siblings. We were the ones who set the example. We could not get high enough grades, they could always be better. And we never acted out in public.

Now I work in a fast food restaurant that has children in there constantly. And I see these children running around, screaming, spilling things, breaking things, and basically being a nuisance. And the parents just sit there and ignore them or make a half-assed attempt to control their children. I always wondered if it was maybe a generation difference  or maybe a change in parenting styles.

First I decided to research parenting styles and psychologists have created four type of parenting styles:  authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved.

Authoritarian style is when parents set strict rules that must be adhered to. There’s no wiggle room and what the adults say goes (how I grew up). Children who are raised this way proficient and obedient, but lack in happiness, self-esteem, and social skills.

Authoritative is when parents set strict rules, but are more democratic. They expect certain guidelines to be followed, but are more likely to listen to their children and take their opinions into consideration. This method is the best method. Children tend to grow up happy and successful.

Permissive is when the parent acts more like a friend than a parent. They have few demands and rarely punish their kids. Children are usually unhappy, are not self-regulate, have problems with authority, and do poorly in school.

Uninvolved parents only fulfill their children's basic needs. They rarely pay attention to their children and their lives. This is the lowest rank for everything. Some cases can even become abusive.

I did not realize how specific parenting styles are. I thought there was either strict parents or relaxed parents with various levels in between. I figured if I wanted to know why parenting styles have changed, I should probably know what they are first.

Will an Apple a Day Really Keep the Doctor Away?

This week in Inquiry class we’re changing things up a bit. Instead of the professor teaching us about a topic, she’s handed over the power to the students. We were told to get into groups and pick any topic (as long as it was college level appropriate) and research it. Then we were going to spend 30 minutes teaching the topic to our fellow classmates. But it’s not as simple as just standing in front of the room and lecturing for 30 minutes. It was our job to make the class engaging and assign readings for everyone else so the class had a general background about the topic being discussed.

The first two groups are covering the topics: nutrition in dorm life and sex, drugs/alcohol in college. Both are very important and relevant to the class because whether you live on campus or commute you have to eat at some point and you’ll probably attend a few parties while you’re in college. Let me start off by talking about the first group.

The first group posted a few articles about health and nutrition on campus. One article really stood out to me. It can be found onwww.bucknell.edu. What’s interesting to me about this article is that the author doesn’t just sit there and give you a bunch of facts and statistics about college kids gaining weight. They give solutions to help stop college students from overeating and gaining weight. They write about healthier snack alternatives, a better eating schedule, activities to do instead of eating from boredom or stress, ways to fit in exercise between classes. I found this article useful because I could apply some of these to my daily life and better improve my health.

The second group posted a few articles about sex and drugs on campus. Now it’s stereotypical for college students to be skipping classes and failing exams because they’re hung over from a previous night of partying. But this group posted an article that had facts and statistics about actual drinking and drug use for college students. Some didn’t surprise me while others did. One fact that really shocked me was that athletes are the most likely group on campus to binge drink. I know that college athletes drink along with any other group on campus, but I didn’t think they were the highest percentage. I would think that they wouldn’t be as high because they need to stay in shape for their sport. And between classes, homework, and practices/games they wouldn’t have much time to party and binge drink.

I’ve learned a lot about two topics that I thought I had a general understanding of. Just goes to show you that even if it seems like you already know a lot about a topic there’s always more to learn.

Stumbling onto Something Useful

So my campus safari visit happened accidently. I wasn’t planning to do this one this week, but the chance arouse, so I decided to take it. I was wandering around Engleman before my anthropology class on Tuesday when I stumbled upon the psychology department. Since I had a half an hour to kill I decided to go on and get my safari assignment done.

The secretary for the psychology department is Mrs. Virlinda Billups. She’s located in EN D069 and the number for the office is 203-392-6868. (They also have a fax number, but I don’t own a fax machine so that number isn’t something that I need. I decided to ask her if she had the time to answer a few questions. She was more than happy to help.

First I decided to ask her about the process of getting an adviser. She explained the whole process to me and made sure I understood everything that I had to do. Then I decided to ask her about the psychology or “psych” club. That was one club that I was interested in joining, but I never knew where or when they met.

She told me that the psych club meets every Monday in the psychology library. Now I had no idea that there was a library designated for just psychology, not to mention I had no idea where it was. She then told me where the library was located (EN D055A). I’m really excited because now I know where and when to go. I might wait until next semester to join because I’m afraid that it’s too late now.

Another club she told me to look into is the Psi Chi. This is a National Honor Society in Psychology. Someone just can’t walk in there and join. There are requirements. You need to complete 3 semesters of psych college courses, have a GPA of at least a 3.0 in both psychology and cumulative, have a major or minor in psychology, complete 9 semester hours of psychology courses, and be in the top 35% of the class.
This seems like a lot of work, she encouraged me to go for it. It would look great on my resume and help motivate me. She also told me that if I need help with which classes I need to take to obtain whatever degree I’m going for I could go onto the website and there’s a list of required classes I need to take in order to get that degree.

Today was a successful day. I made my day a bit more meaningful. I learned more about what I need to do in order to graduate and join a certain club all by chance. And I also completed an assignment (campus safari blog). Seems like a day well spent to me.

College isn't all it's Cracked Up to Be

Like 99.9% of teens(not a real statistic) I was excited to gain my independence. When I was in high school I couldn’t wait to get out of that oppressive and restict school system. I hated being told what classes I had to take when, when I had to go to school, when I could leave class to use the bathroom, and when I had to be home by (curfew wise). I couldn’t wait for the “college experience”. I wanted to make my own schedule, go to class when I wanted, leave to use the bathroom whenever I needed to, to stay out late. And sadly, my high expectations weren’t met.

I didn’t know where I wanted to go to school. All I knew is that I wanted to study psychology. I had to decide between living on campus or at home. I chose to live at home so I could still keep my job and have a source of income. And I’m glad that I made that choice because from what I’ve heard dorm life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s pretty boring from my understanding. Once I made that decision I had to decided where I wanted to go. I took a few school trips to a few local universities (including SCSU). While I did like Uconn, it was too far for what I wanted to do and it was also too big of a campus. When I visited SCSU I liked it from the beginning. It felt like home to me.

So I did the whole application process, was accepted and was excited until orientation. I was pissed that I had to spend two days (and sleep over) at Southern. It was a long,agonizing, dragged out process. And to top it off, I didn’t even get to pick my own schedule. There were a few helpful key elements, but overall it was a waste and I was relieved when it was over. There was suppose to be another orientation the weekend before classes started, but thankfully Hurricane Irene’s destructive nature cancelled that from happening.

Once I started classes and adjusted I found that school spirit was being crammed down my throat. I was being required or having professors “highly recommend” that I attend certain events to help me “get involved in the SCSU community”. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that their trying to help freshmen and transfer students adjust and feel apart of the school. But I personally don’t like being forcefully submerged into community events. I feel like it’s almost my first year of high school again. I do have a bit more freedom, but I still feel that collar around my neck. The only difference is that the leash is a bit longer. And you also have to take into consideration that we may be busy and don’t have time for these events. I work 30+ hours a week. I can’t afford to take time off from work to go watch a football game because I have bills to pay. I have rent, utilities, gas, insurance, groceries, and a bit of leisure money. I can barely pay my bills with working 30+hours. It won’t help if I need to take time off for pointless tasks. Not to mention I have other responsibilities like driving my younger sister around. My mom is a single mom who works full time and needs help with getting my sister to and from school and her activities.

I don’t know, maybe I’m exaggerating or just crazy. That’s why I want my readers to think about it. Do you feel as though your college expectations are being lived up to? Do you feel like you have complete independence? Or do you feel as though you’re starting your first year of highschool all over again with all the school spirit and mandatory events?

Halloween Traditions

So last night was Mischief Night. I was driving home around 11 p.m. expecting to see toilet paper and silly string galore.  And to my dismay I saw none of that. I saw maybe one or two strands of toilet paper hanging from trees, but that was it. Maybe it was too cold out for the young pranksters. Maybe since it was a school night no body could go out. Or maybe I just drove through the wrong streets and all the toilet paper and silly string were a block over. Either way it disappointed me a but, but it also got me thinking about my youth. How things have changed from back then to now in general.  And then I started to ponder on my own youthful antics and pranks.

One of my favorite Halloween/ Mischief night memories was when I was in elementary school. There was a park right down the street from my house that use to get toilet papered and silly stringed every year. My whole family use to go down there and partake in the festivities with our own supply of toilet paper and silly string. We had a lot of fun and bonded as a family. My parents use to say if they yelled hide, we were to hide because a cop was coming.

I remember one year we had to hide. We were in the middle of decorating the park. Running around and giggling like maniacs. Then we heard my father yell “DUCK!” and we all hid. My brothers and sisters took cover behind slides and trees but I was stuck in the middle of an open field. So I instinctively jumped to the ground and laid absolutely still. When the cop shined his light over the park, it just missed me. It was one of the most exciting experiences of my life.

We weren’t juveniles and my parents weren’t “bad parents”. They took us out so we could have good, clean fun and not damage any property and not get into trouble. The police don’t care if kids are out on Mischief Night with a parent because they know that most parents are responsible and won’t let their children damage any property or hurt anyone. Our parents taught my siblings and I how to have fun and be festive in a respective way. We never egged houses or smashed pumpkins because it was disruptive and costly.

Nowadays kids are egging houses, smashing pumpkins, putting bologna or coke on cars, smashing mailboxes or car windows. Just a bunch of destructive juveniles running around like the laws don’t apply that night and it’s a free for all. It’s a shame that now cops patrol the streets on Mischief Night like their expecting a riot because that’s what it’s basically turned in to.

I want my readers to take a minute and think about their favorite Halloween/Mischief memory. Was it a costume that you absolutely loved? Going to a haunted house that scared the living daylights out of you? Maybe it was the Halloween that you ate so much candy that you were up all night with a stomach ache and you had to miss school the next day. Take a minute to think about your favorite childhood memories and relive your youth.

Swallowing My Pride and Asking for Help

I am a very stubborn person and I hate asking for help. I grew up bring told that asking for help was a sign of weakness (which obviously isn’t true). I can’t ask for help, especially when it comes to math. It’s because when I was in 6^th grade I had a terrible math teacher, like I mean she was Satan in disguise. I stayed after for help once and I never did after that (all the way through high school). She basically belittled us in class and after school if we didn’t understand something. She would get mad and yell when we asked a question. I understand it’s easy for her, but it was our first time learning that math. She could’ve been a bit nicer.

But before I ramble too far off I’ll get back to my main point. I’m not good with math. I barely understand most of it. When I don’t understand something I have the habit of just making up my own rules. I had an upcoming test in my statistics class and I wanted to do well on it since we only have two tests the entire semester. So I did what any good student would do: went to class everyday, paid attention, took detailed notes, and even formed a study group with a few other students in my class. But I was still left with some questions. So I made an appointment with my professor to ask him a few questions.

One question I had for him was why my calculator kept coming up with the wrong answers? I followed his steps and even wrote them down so I wouldn’t forget them. And yet my answers never matched up with his in the class examples. After we fiddled around with my calculator for a bit we discovered the problem. My calculator was in radian mode when it should be in decimal mode. (Good lesson for everyone, check your mode and ask the professor what mode you should be in for each topic).

Another question I had was what exactly was going to be on the test.  He told me exactly what topics would be covered on the test, so I knew what to study.  Then I asked him how to tell which formulas to use for each problem. I found it difficult to know when I should used binomial pdf, binomial cdf, normal pdf, or binomial cdf. They’re all so close, it was hard to tell which equation was appropriate. My professor helped me distinguish which equations would work in each problem.

Today, I took the test. I don’t know how I did, but I was definitely more confident than I was beforehand. I’m now more open to asking professors for help. I saw and experienced the benefits of receiving extra help. And I’m more open to the idea now.

Reflecting on Midterm Grades

Well it’s hard to believe but I’m already more than half way through my first semester as a college freshmen. I was a little disappointed with my midterms in general. I was expecting them to be a bit more formal. I hear my other college friends at different universities freaking about their exams and I haven’t had one (yet).
For my computer class, we learn a new concept every week and work on a project that we later post to our homepage. My midterm was just another assignment along with all my previous grades. My anthropology midterm consisted of a paper and all of my previous grades plus attendance. My psychology exam hasn’t happened yet. (We’re taking it on Halloween and it’s my only formal exam). My statistic exam consisted of nothing but previous grade (which I’m not complaining about because I’m terrible with math. And you can view my Inquiry midterm on this blog.
My grades were all pretty good. I received B+s for both computer and anthropology, A for stat, psych is N/A and Inquiry I also received an A (not for the video, it was based on previous grades). I mean that’s pretty good for college level, but I’m still a bit disappointed.

I should’ve and could’ve tried harder in my computer class. I’m not technologically advanced and lost little points on small factors I forgot to incorporate into my assignments. Another thing that upset me was my anthropology grade. I got 11 out of 15 on my paper. It’s not too bad, but it’s not what I strived for. I lost points because I labeled the premises wrong. Okay, I’ll take that without question. I was a bit confused about the differences, tried to get help from the book, but it just confused me more, so I guessed.  What angered me was she took points off because my evaluations of each argument weren’t long enough. Yeah I know each evaluation was supposed to be one page and each argument in standard form plus references was supposed to be a page each. That added up to 4 pages, the maximum for the paper. But my paper went well into 6 pages because each argument was almost two pages each. If I kept everything in my paper I would’ve had 6+ pages. I cut out and butchered my essay to fit her requirements. But what can I do? Next paper I’m just going to include everything that’s necessary and not worry so much about the length restraints.

Other than that I have no complaints. I’m proud of what I did. It seems to be working for me. I just need to try a bit harder in computers and anthropology. Other than that I’m satisfied with my overall results. If I could offer any advice it would be to work hard all semester because you never know which professors will consider your overall work into your midterm grade. If you slack off then, it’ll end up hurting you twice.