Raising Children

I grew up in a strict household. My parents told us what the rules and that was that. There was no room for debate or discussion. We were all given chores that were expected to be done everyday and we never got an allowance. And my older brother and I were held a a higher standard than my younger siblings. We were the ones who set the example. We could not get high enough grades, they could always be better. And we never acted out in public.

Now I work in a fast food restaurant that has children in there constantly. And I see these children running around, screaming, spilling things, breaking things, and basically being a nuisance. And the parents just sit there and ignore them or make a half-assed attempt to control their children. I always wondered if it was maybe a generation difference  or maybe a change in parenting styles.

First I decided to research parenting styles and psychologists have created four type of parenting styles:  authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved.

Authoritarian style is when parents set strict rules that must be adhered to. There’s no wiggle room and what the adults say goes (how I grew up). Children who are raised this way proficient and obedient, but lack in happiness, self-esteem, and social skills.

Authoritative is when parents set strict rules, but are more democratic. They expect certain guidelines to be followed, but are more likely to listen to their children and take their opinions into consideration. This method is the best method. Children tend to grow up happy and successful.

Permissive is when the parent acts more like a friend than a parent. They have few demands and rarely punish their kids. Children are usually unhappy, are not self-regulate, have problems with authority, and do poorly in school.

Uninvolved parents only fulfill their children's basic needs. They rarely pay attention to their children and their lives. This is the lowest rank for everything. Some cases can even become abusive.

I did not realize how specific parenting styles are. I thought there was either strict parents or relaxed parents with various levels in between. I figured if I wanted to know why parenting styles have changed, I should probably know what they are first.